by: Rebecca Taylor
Things had seemed so simple when Amy Bowers was twelve and she and her friends sat around the meadow pulling the petals off the daisies with each one saying, “He loves me, he loves me not.” The truth then was it was all for fun and she didn’t know what she was wanting from a boy. Fast forward ten years and Amy was twenty-two and trying to decide whether Mitch Coeler was worth her time. He was a nice guy; she would give him that but was he the guy? Did she want to try to make it with him or should she be looking elsewhere? They were compatible as far as that went, they both loved watching scary movies and hockey and curling on television, and they enjoyed Vietnamese cuisine. He was a good cook and she didn’t like to cook, but she didn’t mind doing the dishes afterwards. The meadow in spring time stretched out with all the dandelions and spring flowers bright and colourful. Now, the dandelions had turned to fluff, would that happen to her life too, all of a sudden it would be bright and beautiful – full of hope and dreams and the next thing she knew she would be looking back at what had been. The problem was she didn’t know if Mitch was supposed to be part of her future but she also didn’t want to look back and regret his not being there. Amy had dreams for the future and they stretched out farther than the field. She knew she wanted to be successful in her career as a graphic designer, and that she wanted children. She could close her eyes and see herself bringing them to the meadow and watching them run around and spreading out a blanket and enjoying a picnic. The thing was in that fantasy, she could see the children with their smiles and a handful of flowers outstretched to her but she couldn’t see the children’s father. She hoped for a happy relationship and wanted the children to have a dad who was always there but she didn’t know who he was. Sitting on the warm grass watching the gentle breeze pull the dandelion fuzz into the distance made her feel lonely and usually she loved the quiet solitude of the meadow. Mitch had asked her to move in with him when he had seen a great opportunity on a nice apartment. He had told her it could be their home, but as much as he mattered she didn’t know if they could last or if they did would they be able to be happy always? The news was bleak on relationships and while she had always heard her grandma talk about the seven year honeymoon period, the radio was claiming it lasted two and a half years after marriage. If she just lived with Mitch, could they keep their relationship fresh, knowing that while they chose to be together, they were not tied together? Would the non-existent ties keep them together because they knew that they had to try? Was monogamy over-rated? Too many thoughts were running through her head when a hand on her shoulder interrupted her. Startled, she turned her head to face whoever was behind her.
“I figured you’d be here,” said Mitch. “You didn’t sound so good on the phone this morning.” He sat beside her and pulled her close so that her head was resting on his shoulder.
“I was just thinking about us. I don’t know if I can move in with you or not. I’m scared.”
“Don’t you think everyone is when it comes to this?” he asked, “I didn’t make the decision to ask you to live with me lightly. I like the way I feel when I’m with you, enough to give this a try. There are no guarantees on relationships, just love and hope.”
“Are they enough?” asked Amy, “To keep us together?”
“I’d like to think so. You mean the world to me, Amy Bowers. Today, I can’t think of being with anyone but you.”
“But that’s just it, that’s today. Today, I want to be with you too, but what if enough tomorrows come that we change our minds?”
“What if enough tomorrows come that we don’t. Are you willing to walk away from me today because of something that might happen?”
“No,” answered Amy, “At this moment, I don’t want to think of my life without you here beside me. I’m happier when I’m in your arms.”
“And every morning that’s how you’re going to wake up. And if our hearts are as happy or happier than they are now, we will both be blessed.”
Amy smiled, snuggling in closer to Mitch. For the moment, she could imagine life with Mitch as they sat together watching their babies grow. Neither of them knew what was beyond the field, but she wondered if maybe sometimes you didn’t need to know, because what was in front of you could be plenty to smile about.