Posts tagged ‘children’

Soldier’s Uniform: A Father’s Love

by: Rebecca Taylor

In celebration of Father’s Day

Previously published in Perspectives Magazine, 2008. 

I clothe a hero. I am Private Robert Jefferson’s uniform. Proudly we go into battle for our country but having his daughter Avonlea Rose nuzzled against me is far more precious than all the battles won. We must leave her to go and save others in far away places but no matter how much grime collects on me, I always recall the smell of her baby powder and shampoo. By being Private Jefferson’s military wear I feel the pain of leaving little Avonlea, but coming home to her is the most extraordinary feeling of all. Cradling her tiny body against my heart and seeing her magnificent smile look into his eyes and mine sends waves of emotion jolting through us both. Being a father is the greatest job in the world, some day I will retire and devote my life to raising her and hopefully others like her full time.

When we returned from a six-month tour of duty and first held the two-month-old close, we could not let her or Mrs. Jefferson out of our clutches. Holding them against us was like receiving the most prestigious prize for courage. The taste of Avonlea’s kisses is the most delicious banquet any parent could every partake in; her love sustains me when I am away. I can still hear the very first words the Private said to his tiny bundle of joy when he was alone with her. It was dark in the nursery and as I hung on the back of the bedroom door, he picked up the sleeping newborn and whispered so only she could hear, “I do what I do for you. The world is going to be a better place for you to live. Someday all the world will be at peace. I will be here with you when this happens.” Then he placed his daughter back in her crib and turned away, tears glistened in his eyes. He has never told anyone how hard it is for him to leave the child that he loves more than his own life, go to countries thousands of miles away, and fight to shield his daughter from the realities of the world. Because I am with him in battle and reside with him when we are home, I know all his innermost feelings and thoughts.

There are some days when we are in combat when it feels like a losing battle with firearms sounding all around us; and civilians, and soldier’s being hurt or killed. I know and so does the Private that we are there for a reason, we are trying to improve the world even if some days the progress isn’t as we would like. We are there to try and make the world a bit safer and to hopefully make it so others won’t have to take the kind of chances we are in battle. My soldier and I want to be able to spare others the kind of fear, sadness and sometimes despair that we see in the destruction of war.

As this soldier’s uniform, I am his protection in battle from all of Mother Earth’s elements but I cannot protect him from the longing he has for his darling Avonlea and his beloved Elizabeth. He wants to start more new life with her some day but he plans to wait until he is finished going overseas and has a job which will keep him on the home base. He hopes and prays that this will be soon and then he can be with his family every day, where he will not miss the important things in his family’s daily life. He wants to be able to stroke his baby girl’s golden curls every morning, tuck her in every night, and feel the love of her arms around him. He wishes to be there when she learns to say, “I love you too Daddy.” I want to be there too, to be able to see my soldier’s dreams come true and to be able to watch the expressions on his family’s faces everyday and feel the love seeping through as they clutch me.

Nobody has ever asked me but let me tell you anyway that fatherhood is the greatest gift any man can ever have. Don’t underestimate the powerful feeling it will give you. Fatherhood is hard, you have to protect your child and teach them what is right and wrong in the world so that the history that is being made as we speak does not repeat itself. Loving your child is the easiest part, so many people that are not parents do not understand how someone can love a child so much, but all you have to do is hold the child against you and let your heart melt to know.

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You’ve Got This

by: Rebecca Taylor

“I don’t know how I’m going to look after them all by myself for the month during the school year,” said Tim Harris. “Meg and I have been split up for five years and usually I just get the kids on my weekend, sometimes a few days during the week. She’s the one who has helped them with homework and school projects.”

“You’ve got this,” said his friend Abby Carlson, “you’re their dad. They aren’t babies anymore and they can tell you want they want.”

“But can they tell me what they need?” asked Tim.

“They’ve got what they need, a dad who loves them,” answered Abby.

“Yes, a dad whose whole cooking repertoire consists of grilled cheese sandwiches, or BLTs or peanut butter and jelly. I can BBQ but February isn’t the time for that. I am thankful for this hospital cafeteria. And that’s another thing; I don’t always get out of here on time. I can’t stop in the middle of reading an x-ray and say ‘Sorry, I think your arm is broken but my kids are waiting for me at home or school or wherever.’”

“Have you ever thought of asking for help? Or having a backup plan if you’re not home when your kids get there?”

“Well Callie is fifteen. I know Meg sometimes left her to watch Jimmy and Angela,” said Tim.

“Well, there you are, keep in touch with your kids if you’re not home, but do what you have to do. Even married parents must have these situations all the time with regular 9-5 jobs,” said Abby.

“But then they’re prepared and they’re not working shifts.  I am and even though I’ve been a dad for fifteen years I often feel like I’m making things up as I go along,” said Tim.

“So you’re flexible, it’s a good thing,” said Abby, “I can help out if you need me to, you know make a casserole, check in on the kids if you’re going to be late. With my own photography studio, I can make my own schedule.”

“Abby, you’re wonderful,” said Tim, “but I don’t want you to feel like you have to help me.”

“Are we or are we not somewhat more than friends?” said Abby.

“We are,” answered Tim, “and I know that you’ve met my kids and they adore you. It isn’t that, I just don’t want you to feel like you have to step into a sort of mom role if you are not prepared for it.”

“We’re all going to do just fine,” said Abby, “you and me and the kids. You’re their dad and you’ve got this. No worries right?”

“There are always worries,” said Tim, “but I’ve had some practice in keeping the unnecessary ones at bay.”

“That’s good,” said Abby, “because worrying will get you nowhere. I know a month sounds like a long time when you aren’t used to it but you’ll see, you’ll get into a groove and everything will be fine.”

“I’m glad I’ve got you,” said Tim, “because with you supporting me, I know anything is possible.”

“Together, it is,” said Abby smiling.

Choosing Your Child

by: Rebecca Taylor

“Children are a big responsibility, Miss Denton,” said Gloria Hayes, manager of the Sunville Orphanage.

            “I know that and I have done a lot of searching in these last few years. This is not a decision I take lightly, but I do not want to spend my life alone with only me and my cat in a house when I could provide a child with so much love. I have a steady job as a bookkeeper at an accounting firm and want to take a year off to be with the child that I want to adopt so that we can spend the year bonding. I was hoping to adopt a child that was about four years old so that when I go back to work he or she will be in school.”

            “The first year, that’s fine, Miss Denton, but what about when they have holidays from school especially in the summer.”

            “I’ve thought about that but right now my sister runs a daycare out of her home and she could watch my child. I also have three weeks of holidays from work each year and I have statutory holidays as well as sick days if my child is ill one day.”

            “Miss Denton, being a parent is hard; being a single parent is harder especially when you adopt a child. These children don’t come from homes where everything was sunshine and flowers,” said Gloria Hayes her face expressionless.

            “I know that and I want to improve a child’s life. I want to help a child and I am a very determined person. If the child that I adopt has obstacles, we will work them out. Some children, however, will probably have come from situations which I am not prepared to accept because I know that there are things which happen out there that I cannot even imagine and I don’t think it would be fair to a child with such special needs to live with someone like me who cannot comprehend what they need.”

            “That is true and I believe you have good sense in making that clear. It makes it easier for the child. We don’t place children in situations which we feel probably won’t work out because it only makes it harder for the child when their next chance at having a loving home comes up.”

            “If anything my child will have a loving home. I live in a wonderful little house in the country very close to my parents’ farm where my parents and sister live in the two houses there. As my sister runs a daycare there are always children to play with. My child could get on and off the school bus there and I would pick him or her up afterwards.

            “Your police check and references are infallible. You would be a good candidate for adopting,” replied Mrs. Hayes her light blue eyes softening.

            Emmalee Denton sighed under her breath, running her fingers through her short light brown hair. Mrs. Hayes is the stereotypical orphanage worker. Stern and frightening even to someone of my age. Her hair up in a bun. I suppose she has to be though because you can’t just let anyone off the street come in and adopt a child because that would lead to…well let’s not think about what that could lead to. It would be like that poor little kitten we adopted when I was growing up. Frightened, hurt, and alone; just needed somebody to love it. It can still be skittish even with us now even though it’s lived at home for eight years but at least it’s safe.

            “Does that mean that I will be able to adopt a child?”

            “Yes, it does, however, this process is far from being instant. First, we have to find a child that is right for you. Then, you will have several sessions with that child here at the orphanage just so that you get to know each other when the child is in familiar surroundings. After some of these sessions, you may take the child on day outings. If all goes well then you will be granted a six-month trial period. If after the six months both you and the child are a match then the adoption process can begin. There are some children here whose parents have given them up, and signed away all of their parental rights. There are other children who are not that lucky, they could find the perfect home but the parents may not be willing to have their child adopted into a loving home and so the time that you get to have that child before the parents may want to get him or her back can be numbered.”

            “I think that I need to attempt to adopt a child that is adoptable, I’ve had a job before that was up in the air and that was hard and that only went on for six months. If I were to take one of the children into a foster type situation because I could not adopt it when it was four years old I could spend fourteen years worrying and wondering. I cannot do that, I doubt very many people can.”

            “Some people only foster and have numerous children over the years to get them out of the orphanage until a suitable home can be found or to help children whose parents still hold the balance of power.”

            “That isn’t for me. I am looking for a child who will be able to be mine, one that nobody can take away from me because the parents decide that they feel like caring for a little while. I know that my decision to adopt a child is all or nothing. Either I adopt a child and have one or I don’t. I cannot decide to be a parent during certain hours of the day. It is a lifetime commitment that I am willing to undertake.”          

            “Let’s get started, you’ve already decided that a child around the age of four is what you are looking for. Do you want a girl or a boy?”

            “I think I’m leaning more towards having a daughter, not that there is anything wrong with having a boy, I’ve just never imagined having a son. As a woman, I think I would be able to provide my daughter with the positive role model that she would need and even though I could have a positive influence on a boy’s life I’m not an athletic person, throwing around a baseball is not who I am. I would try but it wouldn’t be like doing that with a father.”

            “Are you in any type of relationship with a boyfriend right now, Miss Denton?”   

            “No, I’m not and if that were ever to happen my daughter or son would need to come first. Also, could you please call me Emmalee it makes me feel more at ease?”

            “Certainly, Emmalee,” answered Gloria Hayes. “I think that a daughter would be your best choice. Are there any particular hobbies or interests which you might have that may make pairing you with a child easier?”

            “I love gardening, painting and cooking. When I’ve imagined myself mothering, I want to be able to bake chocolate chip cookies or rice krispy squares with my child and have them really enjoy it.”

            “Let me just put this into the computer and we will see if we can come up with some matches.”

Five minutes later Gloria Hayes had several profiles for Emmalee to look at. Five of which were four year old girls which could mesh well with her.

            “We have Samantha, four years old, very energetic, loves being around other children, shares well and has a lovable personality. Then there is Elvira she likes doing puzzles, is a bit shy but just needs to come out of her shell but she has a kind heart. There is Sarabeth, she loves animals and if your cat is sociable could be perfect for your household. She came here after her mother passed away in an accident, her father passed away from cancer a few years before that and there was no other family to place her with. Jenna is an artist; she loves drawing pictures, at her last foster home she started to learn to read, she went back to her mother briefly before coming back here but her mother decided to sign off and let her have a family. Lastly of the ones that would probably be for you is Lily, however, Lily comes with added responsibility as she has a slight hearing impairment and has to wear a hearing aid. She also has a twin brother Liam and if possible, we would like to place them together. That is just the basic summary, if any of them interests you, you can read some more about them or even watch them from behind a two way glass. You can see them but they can’t see you so they won’t know that they are being watched as that can be very hard on them. It gets their hopes up too high.”

            “How do I decide, all of these children need somebody. I can’t imagine being in their shoes. Sometimes it’s hard to choose a book off of a library shelf or the paint colour for the living room walls. I can always exchange books at the library and repaint the wall but we’re talking about choosing a child here, a human being that I will eventually take home and care about for the rest of my life,” exclaimed Emmalee her hazel eyes wide and full of surprise.

            “I know, Emmalee, it is hard but you have to make the decision that is best for you and the child that you are adopting.”

            “How can I make a decision for any of these children, I have never met them before and I know that if I do it will break my heart because I cannot take all of them home with me. I know that you and everyone else here does the best you can for them but they don’t get the one on one attention that all children need and there aren’t enough funds to buy them the special things in life not that money can give them what they need most – love, happiness and a family.”

            “You cannot save the world but by adopting one child in need you are making a big difference.”

            “What about the others?  If it is like anything else, the babies will be the first ones to be adopted and by the time the children are probably seven or eight they become less wanted, I suppose because the longer they are in different foster homes or here or bouncing back and forth with parents or whatever the emotional trauma deepens. Getting this child doesn’t mean that someday I won’t want to adopt another but it is always going to be the same, too many children and not enough prospective parents.”

            “I get the feeling that you have a strong sense of the pain in this world and that you can teach a child good morals. You’re going to love whatever child you have with all your heart and teach it and give it a wonderful life. That’s all anyone can do, would you like to watch the children or read one of their profiles to get a better understanding of them.”

            “Which of these children has the least chance of being adopted?”

            “Probably Lily and Liam, just because there are two of them but if you only feel prepared to give one child a home don’t choose them just because you feel sorry for them that would be far worse.”

            “Tell me a bit about Liam and his interests, is he the kind of boy that would need a father figure to play ball with, because if that is so I’m not the right person and as much as I think I could help Lily they probably have a better chance here.”

            “Liam loves sports, when one of the men gets a chance to play with him and some of the other little boys out in the back his face just lights up. I think that you’re making a smart choice not choosing them because you cannot provide Liam with the things that he loves and in turn that would make the three of you unhappy.”

            “Which of the others would be considered the least adoptable?”

            “Either Sarabeth or Elvira. Samantha has very good chances of finding the right family because she could be adopted into a family with other children and do just fine. Jenna also has a pretty good chance because she is an open child and willing to take the love that is given to her. With Sarabeth losing her parents, she wants to love someone but is somewhat afraid of losing them. You having a cat could help. Elvira is a shy child but she came here a few years ago and just hasn’t found a home yet but she likes it here. She will probably be a candidate for a good fostering situation if she isn’t adopted soon. She doesn’t have the emotional scars that Sarabeth does.”

            “Then I think I need to learn more about Sarabeth, her love for animals and being on a farm could be invaluable. My parents have dogs and cats and seeing as how she will be spending quite a bit of time with my sister, I think it could help her to be in an amicable situation. I will do all I can to help her. She’ll never totally get over her loss but I can try to provide her with a sense of security.”

            “Would you like to meet her?”

            “Yes, I would, now that I pretty much have it narrowed down to one child, it makes it a lot easier even though I still feel really awful about not being able to help the others.”

            “You can’t feel like that, it won’t help anything. We can all only do so much, if we’re lucky these children will all make out okay.”

            “Could I have a few minutes to get something from my car, I brought a photo album of pictures of my house, the school, my cat, my parents, my sister, and stuff.”

            “I think that would be great, it will give Sarabeth a better understanding of where she will be going provided the two of you hit it off.”

            “Hopefully the photo album will help us do that.”

            Fifteen minutes later after Emmalee gave herself a pep talk, she and Sarabeth, who was a tiny red haired little girl with beautiful green eyes were sitting next to each other on a sofa in a private room looking at the photo album.

            “Nice cat,” said Sarabeth when they got to the picture of the cat, “what is its name?”

            “Her name is Marmalade because her fur is orange. She has a spot on one of the windowsills where she sits and suns herself. She is always sitting there when I come home from work.”

            “Like she’s waiting for you?” asked Sarabeth timidly.

            “Yes, I love going home and knowing that she’s there waiting for me.”

            “Do you think she could be lonely and need a friend?”

            “She always seems happy but we could always get her a friend. My parents have some cats on the farm and they have kittens sometimes, I bet you could choose a kitten and it could come live with us.”

            “Could I name the kitten?”

            “Sure, I bet the kitten would like that.”

            “What colour would the kitten be?”

            “You never know for sure but probably black or tiger, most of them are on the farm.”

            “I had a tiger kitten before my mom died, her name was Stripes, but they said she couldn’t come and live with us here so she had to go live at the animal shelter.”

            “She’ll find a good home then but you will always love her anyways. We have cows and calves too on the farm, a few of them are friendly, do you like cows Sarabeth?”

            “I think so but I’ve never seen one up close before.”

            “How about one day we go and visit the farm and my house and get you acquainted? Mrs. Hayes says it will be a while before you’ll be able to come and live with me because we have to get to know each other.”

            “I’m going to miss my friends here,” said Sarabeth.

            “You’ll make new friends at my sister’s daycare and when you start school next year and we’ll see if there is someway you can keep in touch with your friends here.”

            “What if you go away and leave me like my mom and daddy did?” asked Sarabeth moving a bit closer to Emmalee on the sofa.

            “I hope that that doesn’t happen for a really really long time but if it does you won’t have to come back here because I have a sister who will be your Aunt Anna and my parents who will be your Grandma Clarice and Grandpa Peter. You’re going to have a family for life. How does that sound to you?”

            “Okay, I guess, I don’t know, I want to live with the cats and meet the calves and see the dogs but I just wish I could do it with my mom and daddy instead of you.”

            “I know you do and I wish you could have too but sometimes things don’t work out the way we want them to, it is okay to be sad and miss your parents but they wouldn’t want you to miss out on having a family.”

            “Will I have any sisters or brothers?”

            “Not right now, but maybe eventually, it is too early to tell right now. Right now, it is going to be you and me. I’m going be your new mom but you don’t ever have to call me that if you don’t want to. I’m not going to replace the mom that you had.” Maybe someday I will adopt another child or get married and have a baby but I don’t know. I am twenty-eight years old and at this point in my life who knows what the future has to bring. I suppose it all has to do with how well I like motherhood and how well Sarabeth and I do.

            “For now can I call you Emmalee?”

            “Sure you can, we’re going to do all right together. Once you come to live with me fulltime I am going to take a year off from work and we can get to know each other better. It is going to be a big change for both of us. It will make a big difference to Marmalade too.”

            Time flew by and two months after Emmalee and Sarabeth met, they went home to live in Emmalee’s house in the country in Rainbow Valley. Sarabeth adopted a little black and white kitten from the Denton Farm and named her Princess. Grandpa Peter gave Sarabeth a little red calf of her own which she could take to 4-H shows once she got enrolled. She named the calf Poppy because of her colour. Despite the difficult moments for the family like holidays when Sarabeth especially missed her parents, the Denton family and Sarabeth meshed well together. A year after meeting; Emmalee officially adopted Sarabeth and had her name changed to Sarabeth Lisa Hamilton Denton. Sarabeth wanted to keep the full name that her parents gave her but both she and Emmalee wanted her to feel like part of the Denton family thus giving her the family name that she would use daily. When Sarabeth was nine years old, Emmalee got married to an amazing man who loved both of them – Jake Dawson, he, and Emmalee adopted another daughter Maude shortly after their marriage as well as having a son Clay a few years later. Emmalee never forgot the choice that she had to make when deciding on getting a child that was right for her and even Maude’s adoption wasn’t much easier, although she did have the moral support of a loving husband and knew the procedure. After the first few years Emmalee stopped wondering, what life would have been like if she had adopted different children and was completely happy with what her life had become. 

Indecision

by: Rebecca Taylor

Shannon Harper watched the seconds tick by on her watch; she had been offered a huge promotion at the bank where she worked, she had been a teller for five years, then she moved up to customer assistance where she helped clients open accounts, learn about investments etc. for the last three. Now the Bank of Scotsville wanted her to move to another city and work as an accounts manager. She was excited that they wanted her to do the job, it was another step up the corporate ladder to where she may some day want to be, but she did not know if she wanted to move four hours away to a place where she knew no one. She also didn’t know if she should be asking her husband Albert, seven‑year-old son Shane and four-year-old daughter Courtney to be making this move with her. Albert worked from home as a graphic designer but even so, it was unfair to ask him to pick up his life and to ask the children to leave the school and friends that they knew. Albert said he was willing and nothing had been said to the children, the move would mean a substantial salary increase and they could do very well even though the cost of living in Scotchtown was slightly higher than where she was now in Scots Hill. This was a huge opportunity and Shannon knew that there were other bank employees who would take it in an instant if she didn’t. It was Thursday afternoon and the bank needed to know by the next morning, she had been thinking about it all morning and she was having so much trouble trying to decide what she wanted. Life was so complicated when such a decision was upon you; she didn’t want to toss aside a chance that may never come her way again. If the opportunity had presented itself at her current bank then she would have said yes in an instant, even if she had to commute each day. The decision would be easy but having to uproot herself from a place where she had grown up, gone to school, got married, had children and worked so long was a major choice to make and she didn’t feel ready to make it even after almost a week of thoughts, lists, talking and long sleepless nights.

            It would be childish to toss a coin or pull on the petals of a daisies, this isn’t high school any more, you can’t say if someone walks around the corner in the next five minutes you’ll say yes to so and so’s offer to go to the dance and otherwise the answer is a no. That usually backfires anyways. I need to look at this reasonably, this is an amazing chance, and the extra money could give my children opportunities they may not have otherwise. If they need braces or eyeglasses down the road, this will help me afford them. Between the salaries that Albert and I both get we do well for ourselves but we can do better. Not only is this an amazing opportunity but they are offering me better benefits, I will five weeks vacation instead of three each year which means that we could go someone in the summer and I could still have time off for myself when they are in school. My parents are here but four hours away isn’t terrible if we left after work on a Friday night we could get here around nine and spend all day Saturday and go back late Sunday night and if the Monday is a school and bank holiday that would make for a nice weekend. The kids though, they love their school and they have some really good friends, I don’t want to take that away from them even though if we visited a lot of weekends, they would still be able to see each other. It all comes down to do I accept this chance which could better all of our lives or do I keep going and doing this job that I love and we live on what means we have making out okay. I’m going to drive myself crazy, here I am sitting in the park, thinking all these thoughts and still I can’t make up my mind. This is useless I might as well go home face my family and we can all talk this out together…rationally…I hope.

            In the tastefully decorated living room of the Harper home, Shannon and Albert sat on the sofa with Shane and Courtney.

            “Hey guys,” said Shannon, “your dad and I are thinking about moving, what do you guys think about that?”

            “Leave here?” asked Shane.

            “Yes,” replied Shannon, “this house and your school and Scots Hill and go live in Scotchtown where I would have a new job at a different bank.”

            “What about my friends?” asked Shane.

            “We’d come back and visit them and Grammy and Gramps and Nana and Pops on weekends, not every weekend, but lots of them. We would make lots of new friends,” said Albert.

            “I like my old friends.”

            “Take Courtney’s teddy bear?” asked the four year old.

            “Yes, we’d take your teddy bear and all the things we need, we should probably get rid of the things we won’t use anymore…” said Shannon scooping Courtney up into her lap.

            “Do you want to move, Dad?” asked Shane.

            “I want to give your mom a chance to have her new job; I work from home so I will still be doing the same things I am now. Your mom and I will be there when you go to school in the morning and I will be there to pick you up at school. We might even try to find a house with a big backyard so we could get that dog you guys have been wanting.”

Shannon shot a glance at Albert; they hadn’t talked about getting a dog at their new place. They had decided that moving would be a great opportunity and occasionally they discussed the benefits of children having pets but they had definitely not said anything about the big backyard. Albert pretended not to notice.

            “A dog, you mean it Dad?”

            “We’d have to get settled first, but in time we could have a dog,” answered Shannon taken in by her son’s enthusiasm.

            “Doggy,” said Courtney.

            “That’s right a dog, Court, we could play with him and feed him and take him for walks, I’ve always wanted a dog.”

            “So the move is on?” asked Shannon.

            “I guess so, but we have to come back here lots.”

            “We can come back to Scots Hill but we can’t come back to this house, it won’t be ours anymore. Somebody else will buy it and make it theirs. We’ll have a new house of our own.”

            “Will I still have my own room and be able to have my friends come over?”

            “Yes, we will be looking for a house and will make sure that it is big enough for all of us but not too big to take care of.”

            “When are we moving?” asked Shane.

            “It won’t be for a little while yet, I have to talk to my boss at the bank in the morning and see when I start my new job, and we might have to find an apartment just for a little while until we get all set up; selling this house and finding a new one.”

            “What are you going to do at your new bank Mommy?”

            “I’m going to be an accounts manager that means that I help people and look after lots and lots of paperwork.”

            “Are you going to like working with paper?”

            “I think so, now go and get your homework, the school year is almost done, and I want to finish it on a good note.”

            “Will I like my new school?” he asked.

            “We’ll go look at it soon, everything is going to be just fine, we’ll all be together, and we will even have a dog eventually. You’re good at making friends, don’t you worry.”

            That night after Shane and Courtney were in bed, Shannon and Albert sat on the sofa talking about the day.

            “You could have asked me about the dog, I couldn’t say no and we don’t know what kind of a place we’re going to be able to find,” berated Shannon.

            “Come on, Shan, you know that we’ve talked about it enough times. They’re old enough now and I’m home all the time. We won’t have to worry about coming home and having a wrecked house. You just concentrate on being a good accounts manager, my paperwork queen and we will all be very happy.”

            “Paperwork queen!” exclaimed Shannon.

            “Well isn’t that what you told our son that you were going to do lots and lots of paperwork.”

            “Yes, and I am but my role will be bigger than that and you know it. This is very big opportunity; these kinds of chances don’t come up everyday.”

            “I know, I was just teasing.”

            “Good thing you work from your computer no matter where you are or else this could be a lot more complicated.”

            “You’re apprehensive about this move too aren’t you?”

            “Anyone would be even if they didn’t have two kids to worry about.”

            “We’ll make out fine, you’ll see.”

            “I know we will, I guess it’s just when you’ve lived somewhere for your whole life, it is hard to imagine living somewhere else. You go from knowing everyone who walks into your workplace and you meet all your friends in the grocery store and stuff to knowing nobody.”

            “You’re good with names and faces and all of that, you’ll adapt quickly.”

            “I’ve spent this whole week with indecision and now that we’ve finally made a decision, I don’t know if it is the right choice or not.”

            “You worry about making the choice and once you’ve made it you still don’t know if you’ve made the right now. That’s indecision for you.”

            “Life is full of it, sometimes it is the stuff that makes dreams,” answered Shannon laughing. Everything was going to turn out even though the thought of so many changes was nerve wracking and no matter what she did or where she went in her life, there would be obstacles, indecision would only be one of them.

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